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February 8th, 2010
08:56 pm - Wonderful Monday
I got three wonderful things last weekend.
1) So about a month ago ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) media_res put up knitting commissions, and said some combination of the magic words "elbow-length fingerless gloves" and "Slytherin colors" and, as those following my Twitter feed are painfully aware, my house is a freaking icebox, so I said "I WANT THAT" and ordered a pair. They arrived! They are wonderful and sunshine and rainbows. I am wearing them right now. I might never take them off. That's awesome in itself, but she also sent along a tiny scarf made from the leftover yarn, with a little tag that said, "For Cthulhu."
Cthulhu approves.
2) Volume 3 of House of Mystery! I don't know why this series doesn't get any love. It's creepy, it's funny, and there's a new story every week. The art's as crisp as the dialogue. Also for the win, I got Beasts of Burden #4 even though I already have the hardcover on pre-order. Stellar.
3) Following the sad death of Bruce the hermit-crab Batman, I ran out to the pet store for a new companion for Whatsisface the remaining crab. And I found one. And he is awesome. He's a big one, with a good strong pinch and all his legs intact, which is all you can really look for when shopping. Once I got him home he tried on a new shell, decided he liked the old one better, and then overturned the water dish into the food dish. Yeah, he'll fit right in around here.
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February 5th, 2010
09:56 pm - Here Be Extreme Wordiness. Also, a Map
Plant update! The lime tree is still dropping leaves. It's not bare yet. I maintain hope. The strawberry, on the other hand, decided it wanted to grow about a billion new leaves (a billion = ten), and I say go for it, little strawberry. And other than the ivy in the kitchen and the unkillable begonia, that's all I have left. Everything else died of neglect. This house is much too big for me.
Here's some more media commentary, because I love that stuff.
Doc Savage: Brand of the Werewolf
I'm reading a Doc Savage novel. It's "an experience". It's like chatting with your bigoted uncle who tells awesome stories and can't be taken in public. ( Action! Adventure! Exclusion! )
The whole package (remarkable man and his remarkable buddies travel the world seeking adventure) is so straightforward that I am overwhelmed by the urge to deconstruct it. Or read a deconstruction. Surely this has been done in the last seventy-five years. Anyone? Or did the two-fisted genre die out before irony happened?
Lost: Season Six, Episode 1-2
It has been my habit, in past seasons, to draw up expansive island diagrams to keep track of the characters at some particular point. This seemed like a thing to do after the season six finale. I do need some help, though, so if you can think of characters to add, let me know.
( Cut for HUGE image and spoilers. )
It only took me three and a half hours to watch the hour-and-a-half season premier on Hulu, so hopefully I can get through each subsequent episode in under two. :(
IN THE MEANTIME, I started another Doc Savage story, which has the bonus of being set and written in 1943. Look, everyone from Superman to Bugs Bunny got a chance to punch Hitler, I think it only fair that Doc have his shot. And I vehemently deny wondering if Doc and Superman ever had a crossover. Or who would win in a fight. Or that they would be friends and get an apartment together. Never crossed my mind.
I do admit to researching that last paragraph, which led me to this incredible blog. I simultaneously cannot believe this exists, and find it inevitable. I love the Internets.
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February 2nd, 2010
12:05 pm - I Swear I Occasionally Read, Too
Movies!
Wal-Mart was selling, for five bucks, a three-DVD set of horror movies that are some combination of outdated, unwanted, and out-of-copyright. Everything I dream of in a horror flick! So if you're following my Twitter going "Where is she finding this stuff?"--well, that's where.
The Pyx (1973)
Filmed in Canada, and the big surprise here was finding out how much of the dialogue is in French. I don't know, I was strangely lukewarm on this one. I thought it was generally competent and interesting. I wouldn't suggest that anyone go out of their way to watch it, but if I saw someone picking it up in the Blockbuster, I wouldn't tell them to put it back.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
A good, low-budget black-and-white movie with a hilariously stupid beginning, decent scares, and a pretty nice buildup to a stark, interesting ending.
Without spoiling the (fifty-year-old) movie, let's say the ending is not entirely unguessable. I don't know whether this was the first one to use that particular premise, but it's not something I have never stumbled across. I came up with four movies with similar sensibilities off the top of my head.
On one hand, there are no new plots, and it's unreasonable to go into a movie expecting some brilliant new twist; on the other hand, a large part of fear is anxiety of the unknown. Once you know (or think you know) what's going on, the anxiety vanishes, and the fear withers...and since fear is pretty much the point of atmospheric horror, well, there goes the movie.
I wonder whether that's why gore has been so popular lately: we're all too savvy for psychological horror, but violence can always get more shocking.
(I got through the original Halloween by chanting "Seminal, not derivative" at every worn-out trope. I was hoarse by the end.)
The Undertaker and his Pals (1966)
Just completely horrible. This would be good for a late-night MST3K with some friends who don't mind blood, nonsense, or catastrophically failed attempts at humor.
I Bury the Living (1958)
Spoiler: nobody actually buries the living. :( Serviceable even though it welshes on its premise.
And Netflix sent over a palate-cleanser: Stage Beauty (2004), with Billy Crudup and Claire Danes, which was lively, lovely, and memorable, and had costumes to die for.
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January 25th, 2010
08:28 pm - For the Record
Hey, remember NaNoWriMo? Where I was writing short stories for some reason rather than a proper novel? Last night I finally made a finished draft of the fourth one. So here are the stats:
Final word count of first draft of four stories: 50,268
Word count of current draft of four stories: 38,515
New material in current draft: ~13,300
Which tells me that out of November's work, exactly half of it was worth keeping in any form.
"Second draft equals first draft minus 10%." Pfft, amateurs.*
I've been watching movies again! And they've been awful.
- Bloodsuckers (aka Vampire Wars) - Started off terrible, got fun (stayed terrible)
- Nadja - Weird, artsy, oddly compelling
- Shadow Zone: Undead Express - So, so terrible, but the villain got off a few good lines
- Candyman - Loved this, surprised I hadn't seen it until now
- Nightmare Castle - Barbara Steele! Surprisingly decent
- Dominique Is Dead - Originally released as Dominique. I Twittered this one:
11:10 PM Jan 23rd Oh hey! This horror movie has Jean Simmons in it! How topical! #DominiqueIsDead
11:34 PM Jan 23rd It's been 27 minutes and I think that body hanging from the ceiling is Dominique. #DominiqueIsDead #finally
11:49 PM Jan 23rd There appears to be some question as to whether Dominique is dead or not. #DominiqueIsDead #possibly #itwastheseventies
12:05 AM Jan 24th "Dominique? But she's dead." "Is she?" WELL, movie? IS she? #DominiqueIsDead #maybe #everythingiknowisalie
12:28 AM Jan 24th No final word on Dominique, but someone else is dead, for reals, FINALLY. #DominiqueIsDead #dontcare
12:43 AM Jan 24th Well that was stupid. #DominiqueIsDead #yesforreals #spoileralert #saveyourselfthetrouble
Culminating in this:
8:54 AM Jan 24th qrevolution @davisac1 Did you ever find out one way or the other about Dominique?
8:10 PM Jan 24th @qrevolution Yes! I can confirm that by the final frame of #DominiqueIsDead, Dominique is dead. #titlesneverlie
I feel secure in spoiling that movie because no one will ever watch it, or should.
*The amateur who popularized that formula is Stephen King, of course.
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January 20th, 2010
09:12 am - Leaving
I moved the lime tree to the warmest room; I don't know if that's going to help keep it from losing its leaves, but the crazy thing is blossoming again, so that's...a good sign? I wish it would spend its energy on, say, new leaves instead, but at least that proves it's alive.
Check it out, Retro Spec has a cover! Stupendous.
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January 13th, 2010
08:44 pm - RIP BATMAN
Bruce the hermit crab, the one that came with a glow-in-the-dark Batman shell back in June 2008, lost a third leg and perished in the night. I think he had a long and comfortable life. About a month ago he even managed to bust out of his tank and hide under my bed for half a day, suffering no damage, which makes me suspect he was the actual hermit-crab Batman. Luckily I still have the little one to take up his mantle; although not literally, because after he moved out of the Batman shell I put it away. I don't trust the paint on those fancy shells.
Sleep well, Caped Crusader.
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January 10th, 2010
11:58 am - Pets & Plants
All is not well on the home front; the lime tree has been shedding leaves again (although it broke into blossom again for some reason) and Bruce the hermit crab lost two legs yesterday, although this morning he was still alive. He might not last much longer; he's a pretty old hermit crab.
On the other hand, moving the computer desk to a warmer room was a great idea, and the electric blanket is doing wonders for my sleep patterns. And today I'm making carnitas and I just pre-ordered my copy of Dark Faith, so there is yet light in this shadowed world.
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January 5th, 2010
01:16 pm - Submission Stats - 2009
I wavered over whether to post this or not, but I decided that I love reading other people's stats posts so much (this means you, Cate Gardner and K.C. Shaw) that I might as well give something back.
Submission Stats 2009:
Sales: 40 (incl. 16 twitterfics, 7 poems) to 22 markets (incl. 7 anthologies)
Rejections: 80 (incl. 3 closings) from 52 markets (!)
Things currently on sub: 17 (incl. 3 poems, no twitterfic)
Fewest on sub at one time: 1
Most on sub at one time: 28
Retired: 5 (incl. 1 poem)
Yearly word count: ~100,000 plus rewrites. Eh, not terrible.
I figure I sent out a sub every four days or so. We won't talk about the Excel chart trying to figure out which day of the week I'm most likely to be rejected. If you posted a year-in-review for submissions, hook me up, because I could read numbers all day long. :)
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January 3rd, 2010
03:23 pm - Squamous New Year
So after one too many evenings being paralyzed by cold, I moved my computer equipment from the bedroom to the turtle room. The turtles do not seem happy to see me, but screw 'em. They can hibernate all winter; I have to muster the energy to do the dishes once in a while.
I also put up the ginormous model of Cthulhu that my sister and brother-in-law gave me for Christmas. You want to talk about how hard it is to raise an elder god? It took me like an hour to get it out of the box. And assembling the wings, with all those spikes all over him--I uttered some eldrich syllables myself, let me tell you.
My desk will never be this clean again.
Today's plan: reply to belated emails, finish moving things I really want moved, shriek profane hymns to the great Cthulhu, put away Christmas presents. And, if I feel warm enough, do the dishes.
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December 15th, 2009
10:38 pm - Who's Carl This Time to Kill?
If you like National Public Radio and you like puns, get over to the #NPRfilms hashtag on Twitter. This stuff is killing me tonight. :)
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December 7th, 2009
04:21 pm - Quickly
Short notice, I know, but I'm told that my short story "Veins" will be appearing on House of Horror's Blog Talk radio show at 5 PM EST tonight. Listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/house-of-horrorthelounge
I'll be catching it later, since it airs during my commute and, sadly, my car still does not have Firefox installed on its dashboard.
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November 29th, 2009
November 5th, 2009
08:49 am - IN SPACE
Hey, remember that zombies-in-space anthology? It now has a cover that is just about everything you would expect from a book called "Zombonauts".
Win.
Speaking of win! NaNo is still creaking along. I keep an insanely complicated spreadsheet of past and current efforts, and I'm right where I usually am at this point in the month. Here's hoping the momentum holds up, and it doesn't devolve into a mess like 2007, where every five hundred words cost me a year of my life.
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November 2nd, 2009
08:08 pm - This the Season
It's NaNoWriMo month, which means different things to different people. To me, it means a lot of whining. I am a first-class whiner. And I whine to everything. I whine to my sister. I whine to my turtles. I whine to my electronic equipment. I sit in the bathtub and whine to my notebook: "Why are you not dooooone yet? Why aren't you writing yourseeeeelf?" I am unbearable in November.
So the three things I have done in November, so far:
1) Whine
2) Write pulp
3) Watch A Very Potter Musical
You might be wondering how watching a two-hour musical rates as the thing I've spent the third most time on in the last few days. The list, of course, is misleading. It's probably number two. I watched it, yes. The problem is that I cannot stop watching it. I'm listening to the soundtrack right now. ladyarkham and tahmthelame are to blame for this, by the way. Thanks, guys. Do you know how many times today I called something "totally awesome"? A lot of times.
Anyway. My TV reception has scarpered again, so I'll have all of tonight yet to make my word count goal. Fantastic. At least I have this cracktacular soundtrack to keep me company.
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October 25th, 2009
11:49 am - Midnight Serenade
Last night I woke up at four in the morning and heard, for the first time in my life, a cat singing.
If I was a cartoon, I would have thrown a boot at it, but I am a real-life person and it was too cold to get out of bed, so I just lay there listening. The sound was remarkable. The cat was obviously making a tune--it was crooning, and having exactly as much success as you would expect from a cat. It knew only three notes and one word: Yow. But it worked those notes and that word like it meant them.
Yooooooooooow.
Y-oooooo-oooooooo-oooooooooooow.
Yooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
It sounded like the world's worst liturgy.
I enjoyed the absurdity for a couple of minutes and then rolled over and went back to sleep. Cat Sinatra did not move me romantically, but the lady cats probably felt differently, and I feel sure that his earnest song must have earned him some tail. So to speak.
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October 19th, 2009
05:52 pm - Long Time Traveled
Sing, O Muse, of the quest for comics I undertook last Saturday.
The North (you may remember) proved inhospitable, and did not contain the object of my quest (a well-stocked, well-lit, nice-smelling comic book store). So with hope as my banner I sallied toward the South.
"Lo," I said, "tho' the day is not bright, still my dreams of the latest House of Mystery and maybe a collected Hellblazer do shine before me like the sun."
Long I traveled to the south, whereunto Mapquest directed me, and I did come upon a comics store. And behold, this comics store was actually in someone's basement. Girded with caution I entered.
And lo, this cave was not filled with treasures.
"Hath no trade paperbacks?" I inquired of the hermit that dwelt within.
"Only the ones on the wall," he said. "I mostly sell Magic cards."
"Whither the regular issues?" I asked.
He gestured to a rack of comics so scant in its offerings that my heart did sink within my chest for disappointment.
"Oh, well, give me this issue of Deadpool then," saith I, and (having taken his recommendation for another comics shop fifteen minutes down the road) left, still bearing hope as my crest and shield.
"Surely this next shop will be a goodly one," I thought, "for lo, it has been recommended by the hermit, and did also show up on the comics shop locator at FCBD."
And I did journey to the second comic shop. But lo, the city wherein it dwelt offered this day a tournament, like unto football (exactly like unto football, actually), and the streets did teem with persons, and the roads grew slow as sweet-treacle, and there was not any parking anywhere.
"Sodde this," saith I. "I am going to get lunch."
So did I leave the town to its tournament, and did leave the highway at the crossroads which bore a sign that said LONG JOHN SILVERS, and read my issue of Deadpool whilst in the drive-thru lane, and sighed and grumbled.
And lo, as I was pulling out with two chicken planks and a side of fries, I did look about, and beheld a miracle: for though I had come here for fried food, in this place also stood a Barnes & Noble, like unto a fortress, with many a spot to park and also a cafe.
"Hot dog!" quoth I. "I bet there are some graphic novels in there."
So it was that I entered the fortress and emerged with Kingdom Come, an omnibus of old Solomon Kane, and Fables v12, which I have already finished.
And it was very good.
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October 11th, 2009
01:23 pm - Busy Buzzing
So between NaNoWriMo and my thing going up unexpectedly on FlashShot, Thursday's post exploded into comments which, let's face it, is awesome. So that's been fun.
It took me several years to find a great comic book store, and when I did, boy did I: it was well-lit, the clerks were polite, they carried what I wanted (including, against odds, the first collected volume of Bayou); basically I could go in assuming I wouldn't be insulted, disappointed, or attacked.
I went comic-hunting around the new area yesterday, and let's just say that it might take a few more years to find another one.
In the meantime I did manage to pick up two things: the 10th anniversary issue of The Goon by Eric Powell, and the first issue of Beasts of Burden by Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson.
( The Goon )
( Beasts of Burden )
Cut for length and because I went completely nuts with the in-text linkage, sorry about that (not really sorry).
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October 8th, 2009
08:24 am - Two Items
If you've ever said to yourself, "I really liked Pan's Labyrinth but I wish it had been a ghost story" then get yourself a copy of The Devil's Backbone ahora mismo. That movie is ace.
Also! Although I have no earthly idea why or what I will be doing I signed up for NaNoWriMo. Friend me, buddy me, love me, hold me...wait, that got weird.
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October 3rd, 2009
03:33 pm - And Results.
Oh man, but Suspiria was weird.
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October 2nd, 2009
08:12 am - Testing
My first two Netflix...flix have come and gone: Hancock (which made me sad because I love superheroes and love Will Smith but did not particularly like the movie) and Let the Right One In (very good even if it was slow and the main character so awkward that I wanted to beat him up).
Next up: Suspiria? It was in the "Recommended" list, anyway.
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